.5% of greatness

So it has been awhile (this seems to be the way I always start these things) and I have a few things to talk about.  Actually just one thing really, and it inspired me enough to get off my beer laden ass and dust off the keyboard and soapbox and share a few things.

As of January 1, I decided that I needed to dry out a bit.  I wanted to “cleanse” myself and I have been on a no booze kick. Yes, I have cheated a couple of times, I mean really….it was to be expected.  Super Bowl was one, a definite one at that.  Anyhoo, before I digress to far, this is going to be about the wonderful life I have been living thus far.  I only have to the first of March til I am done by the way.  This post is going to cover the few wonderful ( complete lie) N/A beers that I have had.

Before I go into this, I want to explain something.  Mainly that N/A (non-alcoholic) beers actually do have a minute trace of alcohol in them.  Most of them sit at the .5% range.  So that means that it would take 10 of them to equal the alcohol content of one normal beer.  I am not quite sure how the booze is sucked out, that is a research project for you, dear reader.

The first one of these that I tried to help me get through this trial was Kaliber.  Kaliber is Guinness’s main fare at a N/A beer. Well to tell the truth…it sucked.  I mean, I love Guinness and that was the downfall.  This beer is a light color, like that of Bass or Smithwicks. The initial taste was really light and not that bad. Where it went wrong, and just hurt, was the aftertaste.  It was one of sugar, no..not sugar, more like artificial sweetener.  It was like someone had poured an entire sugar bowl of Splenda into a Bass and let it sit there overnight.  It was just offensive.  I was saddened by this and it just made me long for a real Guinness that much more…to think of how they mock those who don’t drink.

The next one on the list of crutches was O’Douls.  Now this is one of AB’s many attempts to steal money from all people.  Even those that do not partake in actual alcoholic beverages. I have had the regular one in the past and I remember that is was awful.  I remember describing it to people as if they took a few pieces of wheat bread and let it soak in a vat of water overnight.  Then it was poured into 12oz bottles to sell.  It had no flavor and was not worth the price it cost.  So this time round I had the O’Douls Amber.   This was different from the regular one.  This one was like if they put a WHOLE LOAF of bread and soaked it.  It still was practically tasteless.  There was  a little hint of flavor but nothing to be noticed or appreciated.  Definitely nothing worth paying $3.50 for in a local bar.

Next up in the support group was the Warsteiner N/A.  This one was a real surprise, it actually had flavor.  It tasted much like a standard alcoholic Warsteiner.  I was really impressed.  It had a full feel in my mouth and my stomach, as if I were drinking an actual beer.  The only problem with this one is the availability in my neck of woods.  It is hard to come by.

There are several others out there to try.  Pretty much every major brewery has a N/A beer of some sort.  It seems to be popular.  St. Pauli Girl, Coors, Heineken (the Buckler is theirs and just don’t drink this…please, for me.) and even Pabst all have beers that are geared toward the non drinkers.

The last one that  I am going to go over is Busch N/A.  This one is a staple around my neck of the woods.  Since Busch is a local beer for the most part, the non-alcoholic version is pretty much the same.  I have had this in the past and if for some reason I ever decide not to drink beer again, this will be the one I turn back to.  It has the taste of Busch.  It is muted, but it is definitely recognizable as Busch.  It tastes like a beer, a beer that I am used to.  A beer that makes me feel like I am drinking with the guys.  Plus, the label almost looks the same.  Just cover up the big red N/A with your hand on the can and for the most part, all your drunk buddies will never ever know.

That covers it.  With the first of March approaching soon, I need to get into shape for St. Pats. Hopefully you will hear from me before then…if not, make sure the only N/A in your life mean Non applicable on a job application or police report.

Cheers!!